Au joyeux Moulin Rouge
by Probably Soup
Summary: 1920's Cabaret AU. Levi and Erwin visit Berlin after WWI where Levi falls for a green-eyed cabaret dancer. ErenxLevi
1. Kabarett

"Tch"

"Come _on_, Levi! Live a little!"

"I don't want to go to a cabaret, Erwin," said Levi, rolling his eyes, "Remember last time we were in Berlin and you said exactly the same thing? No, they're filthy"

Erwin turned around to face Levi. They were outside some cabaret they'd found in the lowertown, after they'd decided to go out on the town and 'experience the culture' as Erwin had said. Actually, he had been absolutely insistent, and so Levi got dragged out into the streets of Berlin with him. Levi was now about to get dragged again, this time into a cabaret.

"So you're telling me," Erwin drawled on, "We came all the way to Berlin just so you could be an ass and not do anything."

"Yes."

"Oh come on, I swear the cabarets are way better than when we last visited. They've stepped up their game. It's the 20's now, Levi! People are finally learning how to have fun! You can't say no to a German Kabarett. It'll be fun!" said Erwin excitedly.

Levi saw that he couldn't possibly win, so after a while he agreed to go in with Erwin to see girls dance and flash their knickers.

The inside of the hall was much nicer than Levi had expected. It still couldn't quite be considered classy, but he had to admit that Erwin was right about the cabarets being nicer than when they had last visited. Loud jazz music was playing as Levi and Erwin entered the main room. There was a large stage at the front and tables with chairs were set up around it. Scantily dressed women moved in between the crowded tables, offering drinks here and there.

_Wow,_ thought Levi, _this really has become the place to be._

Erwin had a huge, goofy smile on his face. He had become Mr. Happy as soon as the war had ended. Levi followed his eyes to the row of dancers who were currently on the stage. They were all smiling and laughing as they threw their skirts in the air. Typical Erwin. There was one dancer that immediately caught Levi's eye. A pretty brunette. There was something special about her. Her head turned and she met Levi's eye for a split-second before Levi quickly looked away. Even if they were in a cabaret, he still considered it ungentlemanly to be caught staring.

The song ended and the men around the room started applauding lightly. Erwin took this opportunity to grab Levi and find a table. Some of the dancers were now getting off the stage and walking around the floor, stopping at different tables to chat with the visitors. Levi looked around for the brunette he had seen earlier and was surprised to find her walking directly towards where he and Erwin were standing.


	2. an unlikely fancy

Levi was caught by green eyes as the dancer walked straight towards him. Without hesitation she pushed him down into the closest chair and sat on his lap.

She was very pretty. Her long brown hair tickled Levi's face as she looked down on him.

She had a strong jawline, and there was something about her that Levi couldn't put his finger on, somehow she was different. She stood out.

Levi was drawn from his thoughts as the dancer started to ghost her fingers over his neck and his collarbone, dragging her fingernails down his chest, then slipping her hands away just as quickly. His pants were starting to feel too tight.

He kept his face carefully neutral, refusing to give her the satisfaction of knowing she was driving him crazy. Not to mention Erwin would never let him hear the end of it if he saw that Levi was getting turned on by some filthy cabaret dancer. But he made sure to keep eye contact with her so she knew he wasn't ignoring her. He would never be so disrespectful as to disregard a woman who was giving him special attention. _And besides, her eyes are so pretty..._

She seemed to take Levi's attitude as a challenge and shifted so she was straddling the short man. Some of the men from other tables cheered and hooted at the scandalism.

From this angle, Levi could see that she had unusually broad shoulders. He was surprised that no one else had noticed, but everyone who was looking at them seemed too busy staring at her partially bared legs.

"Oi. What's your name?" Levi asked her, "I don't usually run into strangers this friendly".

She giggled before leaning in close to whisper in his ear, "Eren". Dramatic, wasn't she?

"So what should I call a handsome man like you?" she continued, flicking her hair a bit.

_Shit shit shit_, thought Levi, _She's flirting with me, what do I do?_

He didn't let anything show on his face, he needed to seem smooth. It was Erwin who had always been the pro with women.  
"Levi," he said. He didn't say anything else, not wanting to talk to the dancer who was currently straddling him.

Levi was hoping she would get off him soon. His couldn't escape the closeness of the woman, Eren, and her green eyes were pulling him in. He hated feeling out of focus, especially when his intuition was practically yelling at him that there was something off about the girl.

Suddenly it clicked.

The broad shoulders. The strong features. The face that was so smooth it looked shaven. _It is shaven_, Levi thought stupidly. He mentally slapped himself. All the things that didn't make sense slid into place. No wonder she seemed so off. _She_ was a _he_. And _he_ was currently straddling Levi...

Levi whipped his head sideways to Erwin. He was grinning at Levi like an idiot and was obviously completely oblivious. Levi looked around anxiously until his eyes were forced to rest on the bright green ones in front of him.

Eren must have seen the panic that Levi was trying to hide, because he stiffened. _Fuck!_ thought Levi, _He knows I know!_

Eren seemed ready to jump off Levi. Instead, he got off the shorter man as quickly as he could while still being graceful and looking natural. He turned around and rushed back towards the main stage.

Erwin watched the girl's sudden retreat with curiosity, then turned a questioning glance at Levi.

"Why'd she suddenly scare off like that?" he asked, "You didn't pop a boner did you?"

he chuckled to himself, ignoring Levi's glare.

* * *

A/N: Wow guys I am so pumped to write this story like yeah rock on


	3. excuses

It was the early hours of the morning when Levi and Erwin finally stumbled through the doorway of their small hotel room. Erwin tossed the room keys on the nearest flat surface, the coffee table, and proceeded to belly flop onto his bed. _He didn't even take his jacket off_, Levi noticed, chuckling to himself. He was actually tempted to do the same, but Levi would die inside if he were to wake up the next morning in last night's clothes, with his _jacket_ still on.

The lump that was Erwin started to snore softly. Levi looked at the sleeping mass while taking off his dirty clothes and putting on a robe for bed.  
In a way, he was glad that Erwin didn't want to hang out a bit before going to sleep. This way he wouldn't have to talk to him while he was still flustered from that brunette. He wasn't sure if he wanted to share his experience just yet. Maybe in ten years when it would be nothing more than a crazy old story that they could giggle about.

He fell back onto his own bed and soon sleep overtook him.

* * *

"Wow! Last night was the Bee's knees! Eh Levi?" said Erwin through a mouthful of toast.

"Erwin, be civilized, don't talk with food in your mouth," replied a very hungover Levi with a hint of disgust.

"Huh? Oh, who cares about table manners? It's just you."

"I'm the one you should be concerned about. I don't want to get a visual on what you're eating," Levi said, shooting Erwin a glare, which he casually ignored.

"But how about that blonde bird in the black dress?" asked Erwin, going back to the previous topic. Levi had no idea who he was talking about. The description fit about half of the women they'd seen last night.

"And that one brunette... she was quite the dancer," he continued, "She seemed all over you for a little while. I wonder what scared her off."  
Levi struggled a bit to keep his composure. He swallowed his tea so he wouldn't choke. The memories were all too clear despite his headache, and his attempts to forget. Levi was not in the mood to make small talk about how he's actually gotten straddled by a man, or about how he'd been turned on the whole time...

He could deal with that later.

If Erwin caught on to Levi's little inner escapade, he didn't show it. Levi knew that he'd probably noticed, since they'd known each other long enough.

"She was.. Erm... Nice," Levi stammered, though he did manage to keep his face neutral.

"Let's go back sometime," Erwin tried.

"No," Levi replied quickly, not changing his expression. Erwin definitely knew something was up, he never suggested going to the same place more than once.

"Actually," he continued, covering for himself, "I thought it might be nice to take a day of rest. My head hurts too much to really do anything anyways."

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to lounge around a bit," replied Erwin, "Maybe we could get out the card table."

Levi hated cards. Erwin always beat him. He always seemed to think one step ahead. _Oh well_. Levi would gladly get his ass repeatedly kicked at Gin Rummy if it meant he didn't have to go out, what with the possibility of running into that green-eyed man-woman person._ Eren._ That could be a man's name too, now that Levi thought about it. It made sense.

Maybe he could suggest to Erwin that they try out a different cabaret. Since Erwin hated doing the same thing twice, and Levi was pretty sure that he'd only suggested going back to the previous night's cabaret to see if there was anything going on without his knowledge. There wasn't, of course. Not really... Plus, there were plenty of other clubs and cafes and whatnot around Schöneberg that needed to be experienced...  
"Levi," said Erwin, snapping him out of his thoughts, "Pay attention for once. Gin Rummy, yes or no?"  
"Fine, but go easy on me"

* * *

Sorry guys this chapter wasn't very exciting but I do have a bit of drama planned if that's what you so desire. side note: I probs won't update very often because I have a really heavy course load so I have almost no free time to write :(


	4. Complications

**Sorry guys I haven't updated in 5eva but I've so busy with school and things,hopefully I'll be able to update faster in the future.**

* * *

_Levi was sitting at a circular table. It was just the right size for only one person, and a single red candle was settled in the center. He was casually leaning back in his chair with his legs crossed. In one hand, he had a lit cigarette, and an expensive looking glass of scotch rested near the edge, supposedly for him. In the back of his mind, he wondered what occasion had given him the opportunity to be such a classy bastard. This question was quickly answered when his eyes snapped up to the person who stood across the table. He felt his breath hitch as green eyes held him captive._

_Eren lifted the skirt of his dress off the floor and started walking slowly around the table, holding Levi's gaze. He ran one hand along the edge of the table as he glided closer. So graceful._

_When he reached Levi, he swiftly leaned down and took his chin, raising his head so they're faces we're aligned. Levi's cigarette lay forgotten on the ground where it had fallen from his fingers._

_Eren moved closer and Levi let his eyes flutter closed in anticipation._

_"Levi," he heard the other whisper._

"Levi"

"LEVI!" Levi woke up just in time to feel a pillow collide with his face. He sat up, dazed in his half-asleep state.

"Get the fuck out of bed you lazy asshat, it's almost noon!" Erwin shouted. Levi was completely ignoring him though, he was too busy trying to sort out the clusterfuck that was his thoughts. _What the everloving fuck was that about? Did I just have a gay dream? Since when do I have gay dreams? Am I gay?_

It was then that he noticed his hardness. How inconvenient. Luckily, it wasn't visible to Erwin thanks to Levi's thick duvet. It still made him more than a little uncomfortable though. What was he, fourteen? He didn't like surprises, let alone surprise morning wood.

He looked over at Erwin, but all Erwin saw was a carefully neutral face.

"Hurry up," Erwin continued, "If we leave soon, we can make it to the bakery while the bread's still warm." And with that, Erwin headed to the bathroom, probably for a shower.

He didn't... _do_ anything about the morning wood, instead deciding to pretend it wasn't there.

Levi didn't think he was gay. He'd actually been pretty sure about it prior to taking this trip. If he was though, he'd certainly come to the right place at the right time. 1920's Berlin.

It would still be rather inconvenient, not to mention illegal...

He sighed and rolled out of bed. his life was getting way too complicated.

* * *

Levi's day with Erwin had been uneventful. Routine. Pick up food. Wander around the city. Sightsee. They'd even gone to a museum, which was worse than death. Erwin had loved it though. He'd stood at the various displays, observing them with a very serious look on his face, but his eyes had a childlike glint in them the whole time.

They didn't run into a certain green-eyed crossdresser either. Naturally, Levi had been overly paranoid to expect that they might just happen upon each other.

They were back at the hotel now. They'd decided to end the the night a bit early, so it was only about 11pm. Erwin sat in the armchair, immersed in a book while Levi lay sprawled out on the couch, lost in thought and smoking aggressively.

"Hey Erwin I think I'll go for a walk. I need to clear my head."

"Where to?"

"Around."

Erwin glanced at him over his book, raising an eyebrow. "Ok have fun, don't stay out past your bedtime," he teased.

* * *

Luckily for Levi, it wasn't too cold out. He took one hand out of his pockets to light a fresh cigarette. He started to wander the streets aimlessly, and he let his mind relax. He thought about what to have for lunch the next day. The war. Stuff like that.

He came to a sudden stop. In front of him, a sign read "Kabarett"._ Huh_. He hadn't expected to end up here, of all places. Guess his thoughts has been elsewhere as well.

He sighed. _Might as well._

He went in.


End file.
